Good evening friends,
Keeping up with my August goals has been motivating and effective! I have had some unexpected back pain over the past five days, beginning with the first day of the month. Earlier this evening I began to get discouraged, wondering if maybe I reinjured myself and I found that my mind was drifting towards worry. Rather then sit in the weight of fear, I laced up my running shoes and went for a walk.
As a “back patient”, it is super important to make exercise a priority and a regular part of the rest of my life. For some unknown reason – other than (honestly) laziness – I have failed to do that in the five months since my surgery. You would think that having been through spinal surgery just before turning twenty two would be the greatest motivation to be fit, but something within me was stuck. I’ve been unhappy with my level of fitness and health for awhile now, so tonight I stopped the lazy talk and instead did something about it. 1.56 miles, a tall glass of water, and a bowl of delicious roasted cauliflower later, this girl feels strong and encouraged.
It is incredible how powerful one step can be, no pun intended (well, maybe). At 7:30 pm I had two options: lay on my bed and scroll through social media as a means of ignoring the fears in my head or take action towards that which matters most.
I chose option two. (Yippee!!!)
There were unexpected benefits from that decision, too. During my walk, God leaned down to me and spoke this into my heart: “Do what you can right now, and do it well”.
Y’all, the value of that moment is huge for me. I have some gigantic goals on my heart and a super active mind trying to keep up with it all. Sometimes I burn myself out going nowhere fast by trying to do it all. In a culture where success is often defined by climbing the corporate ladder, having the nicest possessions, or having an impressive degree, it’s easy to get swept up in the tide of wanting to do it all. From my own experience, I have learned that spreading myself too thin is exactly as it sounds: my work quality is ‘thin’ and diluted. If I’m going to spend my time on a project, I want to pour my heart into every aspect of it. If I’m going to chase those big huge goals in my life, I want to know that I am doing it with all that I have.
When God leaned down to me tonight, He told me to find the things that I feel competent and even (gasp) gifted in right now, and to work hard at those for a little while and enjoy the fruit of my labor. No more doubting myself and no more being stuck. I’m not sure if this work is going to translate into creating a design portfolio, working on my writing ability, launching an entirely new and improved print collection, learning photography, or something entirely new. But if I submit my hopes and goals to the One who knows my heart best, I am confident that He will reveal the right work to me. My job is to surrender, pray, listen, trust, and abide.
Friends, I’m going to do just that.